Hello again Powerful Ladies,
I am writing to you today after an emotional day. My babies started kindergarten today-a surreal and amazing event. Unfortunately, their first day included some first day bumps (the school forgot to serve them lunch!). I am not entirely sure how this omission happened, but I am entirely sure that they didn't ASK for lunch. A lunch that was there, paid for, and likely went to waste because they did not receive it. Instead of asking for their lunches, they just assumed the school intended to skip them and that they should eat their afternoon snack instead (I know, I know, my heart breaks thinking about it too). While popcorn for lunch may be OK every now and then, it is certainly no way to sustain healthy development. After Mama Bear got done talking to the powers-that-be about ensuring her sweet babies are given proper food, she also had a conversation with the kids about the importance of speaking up and asking for what you want. We talked about the power of asking and our inability to receive without first asking. Who knew that my children's first real lesson from kindergarten would be so profound? If you want something- you have to ask for it!
Having now calmed down from all the angst of the first day bumps, it strikes me that many of us make the same assumptions about our businesses as well. We often settle for popcorn for lunch, knowing this is not a sustainable way to live, rather than asking for what we what and/or need. We, I am very guilty at the moment, often under value the service or skill we are offering and don't ask for the business because we assume that if someone wants to do business with us they will ask us.
Here is another story to illustrate my point. Many of you know that I am involved in a new adventure. After experiencing the transformative effects of coaching in my own life, I set out on a mission to bring the unique Ladies 100 Day Coaching Class to Arizona. I have licensed the right to teach the program and will teach the first Arizona class at the end of August. I am truly excited, giddy if you will, about the prospect of teaching this class. I know for a fact that the class has the power to change lives and that it will provide participants with incredible networking opportunities, and transforming personal and professional development skills. I also know that the class is an amazing value and that many women will happily pay the enrollment fee and yet, I have been settling for popcorn. I have told tons of people about the class. I have sent out excited emails, mass flyers, and posted it to my facebook page. But, as my own personal butt kicker reminded me today, I have only asked a handful of people to actually take the class. Whoa! I know how to make an ask. I have made my living for the better part of 10 years by asking for thousands of dollars, sometimes millions of dollars, for my employers. And yet, there I was dancing around the obvious. It was more than a little startling to realize that despite all my activity, I was not getting much actual asking done. Why? I, like my children, assumed that if people knew about the class and were not signing up, they must not want to take it. I was settling for popcorn! Today, after that painful realization, I picked up the phone and started asking people if they want to take the class. Guess what, an amazing thing began to happen.... I started to get exactly what I wanted because I started ASKING for it!
I think as professional women, we are often afraid of either imposing upon friendships or coming on too strong so we soft peddle. Unfortunately, soft peddling means that it takes us longer to get what we want, if we ever get it, and it means that our potential business partners are working harder than they have to because we are not being forthcoming about all of the services we can provide. Think about, when you ask for business, you are actually helping the other person. If he/she has a need for the service you can provide and you don't ask for the business, the person must work harder to find another competent person to provide the service. So, the next time you are feeling reluctant to ask for a piece of business, think about the transactional costs involved if the person you are speaking with has to go out and find someone else to provide what you could provide if you would just ASK. Asking is helping you and your potential business partner. Do yourself and your strategic partners a favor, don't soft peddle around what you want- ASK for it. Ask for their business-they want to give it to you but cannot until you ASK.
The most ironic part of my children's saga, and my our willingness to settle for popcorn, is that the lunch is available. Someone is happy to give us the lunch but we have to ASK. The power of ASKING is amazing!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Power of a Plan
Hello all you Powerful Ladies,
I am writing to you this evening having just completed my most recent 100 day plan. Ahh- what an amazing cathartic and exhilarating process! I went through some serious introspection, became very focused about what I am really trying to accomplish, & crafted 3 goals to move me from where I am today to where I want to go. I put it all down in writing (ladies you know what happens once it is in writing) so that tomorrow, next week, or a month from now when the chaos of life attempts to take over, I have a tangible object and a concrete system to keep me moving in the right direction.
As there was a time in my life when I did not take the time or the effort to create an action plan, I am going to guess that many of you may be in the same place. You may have all sorts of ideas about things you want to change, things you plan to do, places you plan to go; but, do you have a plan to get you there? Think about it, we create meal plans for our families, plans for the afternoon, plans for the weekend, maybe even a 3 year plan. But what are you doing right NOW to move the needle so that tomorrow you are closer to your goals than you are today? If you have to ponder for more then 5 seconds to come up with an answer or if the answer is simply no, then it is is time for a plan!
Creating a plan is easy. For all of you taking my Ladies class, we will go through the exercise of a current self-assessment and the creation of a 100 day action plan. For everyone else, carve out an hour or two and sit down and ask yourself where you want to be 3 months from now, a year from now, five years from now. Ask yourself if the actions you are taking today are going to get you where you want to be in the future (however you choose to define it). If you have no idea where you want to be a year from now, start to think about it. What does your future life look like, what does it feel like, who is in it, what do you do, what don't you do? If you are not living your dream life right this minute, then create a plan to start building it. Here is a news flash for you- if you don't have a plan to move yourself forward then there is a good chance that next year you will be in the exact same position you are right now but with one extra candle on your cake.
Maybe you are are at a really good place, if so Congratulations! Now take the time to write down what is so good about it so that you can create more of it. Writing a plan forces you to get granular and intentional about your life. What are you really after, what does success look like to you, where do you want to go? Make yourself and your dreams a priority-spend the time to think about and create a plan. Trust me- after drafting your plan, you will feel like you can conquer anything. And guess what, with a plan, you CAN!
Only 44 days left until the next 100 Day Accelerated Coaching Class.
Space is limited
Early enrollment discount ends on 8/1/10 so sign up today.
For more information : www.coachhonoree.com/jonelle
I am writing to you this evening having just completed my most recent 100 day plan. Ahh- what an amazing cathartic and exhilarating process! I went through some serious introspection, became very focused about what I am really trying to accomplish, & crafted 3 goals to move me from where I am today to where I want to go. I put it all down in writing (ladies you know what happens once it is in writing) so that tomorrow, next week, or a month from now when the chaos of life attempts to take over, I have a tangible object and a concrete system to keep me moving in the right direction.
As there was a time in my life when I did not take the time or the effort to create an action plan, I am going to guess that many of you may be in the same place. You may have all sorts of ideas about things you want to change, things you plan to do, places you plan to go; but, do you have a plan to get you there? Think about it, we create meal plans for our families, plans for the afternoon, plans for the weekend, maybe even a 3 year plan. But what are you doing right NOW to move the needle so that tomorrow you are closer to your goals than you are today? If you have to ponder for more then 5 seconds to come up with an answer or if the answer is simply no, then it is is time for a plan!
Creating a plan is easy. For all of you taking my Ladies class, we will go through the exercise of a current self-assessment and the creation of a 100 day action plan. For everyone else, carve out an hour or two and sit down and ask yourself where you want to be 3 months from now, a year from now, five years from now. Ask yourself if the actions you are taking today are going to get you where you want to be in the future (however you choose to define it). If you have no idea where you want to be a year from now, start to think about it. What does your future life look like, what does it feel like, who is in it, what do you do, what don't you do? If you are not living your dream life right this minute, then create a plan to start building it. Here is a news flash for you- if you don't have a plan to move yourself forward then there is a good chance that next year you will be in the exact same position you are right now but with one extra candle on your cake.
Maybe you are are at a really good place, if so Congratulations! Now take the time to write down what is so good about it so that you can create more of it. Writing a plan forces you to get granular and intentional about your life. What are you really after, what does success look like to you, where do you want to go? Make yourself and your dreams a priority-spend the time to think about and create a plan. Trust me- after drafting your plan, you will feel like you can conquer anything. And guess what, with a plan, you CAN!
Only 44 days left until the next 100 Day Accelerated Coaching Class.
Space is limited
Early enrollment discount ends on 8/1/10 so sign up today.
For more information : www.coachhonoree.com/jonelle
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Power of a Network
OK all of your powerful ladies, and the important men who support us, it is gut check time. Lately, I have read a disturbing number of articles about the exodus of women from leadership positions in business America. The most recent article, http://www.workingmother.com/BestCompanies/work-life-balance/2010/06/what-female-leaders-want makes it clear that most women are not being pushed out, they are opting out. Many women are deliberately choosing to leave high paying, highly revered, hard to obtain executive level positions to pursue positions of lesser responsibility. The Managing Partner of a large law firm I work with recently told me, "Women and Big Law are like oil and water" In his firm he sees women work hard, achieve high levels of success, and then walk away from it all.
What Gives?
I have read many theories as to why women are making these choices. The most common themes are work/life balance (sound familiar), the need for more flexibility, & a lack of support. As a woman, who made a conscious step-down career move, I have my own theory. I believe many women make this move because they don't have the right network around them. I am not talking about the breakfast group where you exchange business cards- although such groups are uber important to business success-I am talking about the opportunity to spend time with similarly situated women who will push you, challenge you, inspire you, kvetch with you, brainstorm alternative work arrangements with you, remind you of what you are giving up, call you on your BS card, and then turn around and hug you, congratulate you, and celebrate with you if you decide to make such a choice.
Most professional women I know spend the majority of their days in board rooms and court rooms with men. It is very rare that high-level professional women have the opportunity to network with other high-level professional women. This lack of a true peer to peer network can make professional life lonely. My theory is that simply having the right network of support would significantly slow the exodus. Doubt my theory? When was the last time you had the opportunity to have an honest dialogue with similarly situated Professional Women? So, the next time you are thinking about declining that invitation to the local women's chamber of commerce event because you cannot spare the time- think again. Find the time to attend those Women in Business events, join the local Women's Bar Association, & constantly seek ways to intentionally nurture your peer support networks. These contacts and connections are critical to your success. Who knows, the women you meet may give you the resources to maintain your current position or the connections to find your next. At a minimum, you are bound to meet some Powerful Ladies!
Networking Opportunities:
For any professional women in the Southwest, if the idea of a peer to peer network is appealing, you might consider the 100 Day Accelerated Coaching Program. These classes are specifically designed for senior level Professional Women. In addition to the built in opportunity to network with your peers, the classes provide valuable training and strategies on business development, time management, people management, and much more.
In Arizona: www.coachhonoree.com/jonelle
In Nevada: www.coachhonoree.com/courtney
The rest of the Southwest www.coachhonoree.com
What Gives?
I have read many theories as to why women are making these choices. The most common themes are work/life balance (sound familiar), the need for more flexibility, & a lack of support. As a woman, who made a conscious step-down career move, I have my own theory. I believe many women make this move because they don't have the right network around them. I am not talking about the breakfast group where you exchange business cards- although such groups are uber important to business success-I am talking about the opportunity to spend time with similarly situated women who will push you, challenge you, inspire you, kvetch with you, brainstorm alternative work arrangements with you, remind you of what you are giving up, call you on your BS card, and then turn around and hug you, congratulate you, and celebrate with you if you decide to make such a choice.
Most professional women I know spend the majority of their days in board rooms and court rooms with men. It is very rare that high-level professional women have the opportunity to network with other high-level professional women. This lack of a true peer to peer network can make professional life lonely. My theory is that simply having the right network of support would significantly slow the exodus. Doubt my theory? When was the last time you had the opportunity to have an honest dialogue with similarly situated Professional Women? So, the next time you are thinking about declining that invitation to the local women's chamber of commerce event because you cannot spare the time- think again. Find the time to attend those Women in Business events, join the local Women's Bar Association, & constantly seek ways to intentionally nurture your peer support networks. These contacts and connections are critical to your success. Who knows, the women you meet may give you the resources to maintain your current position or the connections to find your next. At a minimum, you are bound to meet some Powerful Ladies!
Networking Opportunities:
For any professional women in the Southwest, if the idea of a peer to peer network is appealing, you might consider the 100 Day Accelerated Coaching Program. These classes are specifically designed for senior level Professional Women. In addition to the built in opportunity to network with your peers, the classes provide valuable training and strategies on business development, time management, people management, and much more.
In Arizona: www.coachhonoree.com/jonelle
In Nevada: www.coachhonoree.com/courtney
The rest of the Southwest www.coachhonoree.com
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Is there such a thing as life/work balance? Yes!
As a professional woman with two amazing kids, I have often struggled with work/life balance. At one point in my career, I was truly convinced that this was an illusion, created by some HR guru with no kids of his or her own, to make the rest of us believe that we were slackers for not finding personal or professional contentment in 12 hour professional work days followed by 6-12 hour personal work days. Come on- be honest, YOU have wondered the same thing.
A friend of mine from law school accurately described what work/life balance means for most of us- "It is like suddenly becoming a C student in everything you do" As over-achieving professional women, C student is a tough pill to swallow- trust me, I have tried!
In my own career, I found that work/life balance was more of a priority-yo yo rather than a static state. My professional life would take off, growing by leaps and bounds but I would miss out on an important family event. Desperate to have my priorities in order, I would cut back on my hours in the office, delegate more work, re-arrange my meeting schedules and spend more time at home. And then inevitably, something would fall through the cracks or a member of my staff would leave and suddenly the work portion of the work/life balance was out of whack prompting another prioritization shift and more schedule rearranging to allow more time for work. This was my life, a constant state of back and forth, back and forth in pursuit of the evasive work/life balance. Eventually, exhausted and truly convinced that it was impossible to be a professional woman and a good Mom, I left a dream job to pursue a job with fewer responsibilities only to discover that work/life balance was still out of my reach.
And then ... I hired an executive coach! I will admit, I was extremely skeptical of the idea of an executive coach, after all I was used to being the over achiever handing out the coaching tips. Plus, I thought coaching was only for hippies and baseball players. However, after speaking to my potential coach, explaining my work/life balance dilemma and learning that not only was my new coach a professional woman and a Mom herself but that my dilemma was so common that she had created a group class just for professional women- I decided to give a shot.
100 days later and a graduate of the Honoree Corder- Short-Term-Massive-Action Plan (http://www.coachhonoree.com/), I had found the holy grail- work/life balance that lasted longer then 5 minutes and a strategy for recreating the balance after those inevitable swings that bring life out of balance! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Who knew life could be so good? The creation of balance was not immediate, it took implementing new tools, and redefining my own goals so that I understood what I was truly chasing. But- I did it and it was much easier than the yo-yo approach that I had been using! I was so inspired by my own transformation, that I am now teaching Honoree's method myself.
The moral of the story- if you are chasing work/life balance you are not alone. Although elusive, work/life balance can be achieved but it may mean adding a few new tools to your arsenal. Lets face it, we all went through training to enter our respective professions, it only makes sense to acquire training to learn work/life balance. If you are tired of chasing the illusion of balance- tip the scales in your favor and find a class, a book, or a coach to acquire the missing skills. If you are not sure which skills are missing- think about the following areas: 1- Attitude (sounds silly but its hard to achieve work/life balance when you are feeling awful about work or life) 2- Personal and Professional Organization (are you really running at optimum performance?) 3- Time Maximization (need I say more?) 4-Consistent, effective, & efficient marketing (don't forget- growing your business is part of work/life balance) 5- Support system (never under estimate the power of girlfriends).
I hope the next time you hear the phrase "work/life balance" it will describe your current state or you will be actively working on acquiring the skills to achieve this for yourself.
Until next time... Powerful Ladies Unite!
A friend of mine from law school accurately described what work/life balance means for most of us- "It is like suddenly becoming a C student in everything you do" As over-achieving professional women, C student is a tough pill to swallow- trust me, I have tried!
In my own career, I found that work/life balance was more of a priority-yo yo rather than a static state. My professional life would take off, growing by leaps and bounds but I would miss out on an important family event. Desperate to have my priorities in order, I would cut back on my hours in the office, delegate more work, re-arrange my meeting schedules and spend more time at home. And then inevitably, something would fall through the cracks or a member of my staff would leave and suddenly the work portion of the work/life balance was out of whack prompting another prioritization shift and more schedule rearranging to allow more time for work. This was my life, a constant state of back and forth, back and forth in pursuit of the evasive work/life balance. Eventually, exhausted and truly convinced that it was impossible to be a professional woman and a good Mom, I left a dream job to pursue a job with fewer responsibilities only to discover that work/life balance was still out of my reach.
And then ... I hired an executive coach! I will admit, I was extremely skeptical of the idea of an executive coach, after all I was used to being the over achiever handing out the coaching tips. Plus, I thought coaching was only for hippies and baseball players. However, after speaking to my potential coach, explaining my work/life balance dilemma and learning that not only was my new coach a professional woman and a Mom herself but that my dilemma was so common that she had created a group class just for professional women- I decided to give a shot.
100 days later and a graduate of the Honoree Corder- Short-Term-Massive-Action Plan (http://www.coachhonoree.com/), I had found the holy grail- work/life balance that lasted longer then 5 minutes and a strategy for recreating the balance after those inevitable swings that bring life out of balance! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Who knew life could be so good? The creation of balance was not immediate, it took implementing new tools, and redefining my own goals so that I understood what I was truly chasing. But- I did it and it was much easier than the yo-yo approach that I had been using! I was so inspired by my own transformation, that I am now teaching Honoree's method myself.
The moral of the story- if you are chasing work/life balance you are not alone. Although elusive, work/life balance can be achieved but it may mean adding a few new tools to your arsenal. Lets face it, we all went through training to enter our respective professions, it only makes sense to acquire training to learn work/life balance. If you are tired of chasing the illusion of balance- tip the scales in your favor and find a class, a book, or a coach to acquire the missing skills. If you are not sure which skills are missing- think about the following areas: 1- Attitude (sounds silly but its hard to achieve work/life balance when you are feeling awful about work or life) 2- Personal and Professional Organization (are you really running at optimum performance?) 3- Time Maximization (need I say more?) 4-Consistent, effective, & efficient marketing (don't forget- growing your business is part of work/life balance) 5- Support system (never under estimate the power of girlfriends).
I hope the next time you hear the phrase "work/life balance" it will describe your current state or you will be actively working on acquiring the skills to achieve this for yourself.
Until next time... Powerful Ladies Unite!
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