The Power of the Ask

Hello again Powerful Ladies,

I am writing to you today after an emotional day.  My babies started kindergarten today-a surreal and amazing event.  Unfortunately, their first day included some first day bumps (the school forgot to serve them lunch!).  I am not entirely sure how this omission happened, but I am entirely sure that they didn't ASK for lunch.  A lunch that was there, paid for, and likely went to waste because they did not receive it.   Instead of asking for their lunches, they just assumed the school intended to skip them and that they should eat their afternoon snack instead (I know, I know, my heart breaks thinking about it too).  While popcorn for lunch may be OK every now and then, it is certainly no way to sustain healthy development.  After Mama Bear got done talking to the powers-that-be about ensuring her sweet babies are given proper food, she also had a conversation with the kids about the importance of speaking up and asking for what you want.  We talked about the power of asking and our inability to receive without first asking.  Who knew that my children's first real lesson from kindergarten would be so profound?  If you want something- you have to ask for it!

Having now calmed down from all the angst of the first day bumps, it strikes me that many of us make the same assumptions about our businesses as well.   We often settle for popcorn for lunch, knowing this is not a sustainable way to live, rather than asking for what we what and/or need.  We, I am very guilty at the moment, often under value the service or skill we are offering and don't ask for the business because we assume that if someone wants to do business with us they will ask us.  

Here is another story to illustrate my point.  Many of you know that I am involved in a new adventure.  After experiencing the transformative effects of coaching in my own life, I set out on a mission to bring the unique Ladies 100 Day Coaching Class to Arizona.  I have licensed the right to teach the program and will teach the first Arizona class at the end of August.  I am truly excited, giddy if you will, about the prospect of teaching this class.  I know for a fact that the class has the power to change lives and that it will provide participants with incredible networking opportunities, and transforming personal and professional development skills.  I also know that the class is an amazing value and that many women will happily pay the enrollment fee and yet, I have been settling for popcorn.  I have told tons of people about the class.  I have sent out excited emails, mass flyers, and posted it to my facebook page.  But, as my own personal butt kicker reminded me today, I have only asked  a handful of people to actually take the class.  Whoa!  I know how to make an ask.  I have made my living for the better part of 10 years by asking for thousands of dollars, sometimes millions of dollars, for my employers.  And yet, there I was dancing around the obvious.  It was more than a little startling to realize that despite all my activity, I was not getting much actual asking done.  Why?  I, like my children, assumed that if people knew about the class and were not signing up, they must not want to take it.  I was settling for popcorn!   Today, after that painful realization, I picked up the phone and started asking people if they want to take the class.  Guess what, an amazing thing began to happen.... I started to get exactly what I wanted because I started ASKING for it!

I think as professional women, we are often afraid of either imposing upon friendships or coming on too strong so we soft peddle.  Unfortunately, soft peddling means that it takes us longer to get what we want, if we ever get it, and it means that our potential business partners are working harder than they have to because we are not being forthcoming about all of the services we can provide.  Think about, when you ask for business, you are actually helping the other person.  If he/she has a need for the service you can provide and you don't ask  for the business, the person must work harder to find another competent person to provide the service.  So, the next time you are feeling reluctant to ask for a piece of business, think about the transactional costs involved if the person you are speaking with has to go out and find someone else to provide what you could provide if you would just ASK.  Asking is helping you and your potential business partner.  Do yourself and your strategic partners a favor, don't soft peddle around what you want- ASK for it.  Ask for their business-they want to give it to you but cannot until you ASK. 

  The most ironic part of my children's saga, and my our willingness to settle for popcorn, is that the lunch is available.  Someone is happy to give us the lunch but we have to ASK. The power of ASKING is amazing!